As I type this blog I am listening to Eric Clapton's Tears In Heaven. In 1991 Eric Clapton lost his son when he fell from window of a 53rd story building. Eric was crushed and he wrote a beautiful song to remember his son. I equate Sudden Infant Death Syndrome to the type of loss Eric suffered. Eric's son was there one day then the next he was gone. This is the same thing that happened to Brady. Brady was such a healthy vibrant boy and nobody including his pediatrician could have seen this coming.
I remember the night before Brady passed away was like any other night. Just like every other night I gave Brady his last bottle then I took him up to his room and rocked him to sleep. Every night I would lay Brady in his crib I always gave him a kiss goodnight and told him "goodnight Brady daddy loves you." This was personal time that Brady and shared every night and now I know how priceless this time was. The last night Brady was on this earth he woke up later in the night and Robin gave him a bottle. She put him down but he was a bit restless. When he wouldn't fall asleep I went into his room, held him in my arms, and he fell asleep. This would be the last time I would hold my beautiful baby boy. I am so grateful I had this extra time with him.
The first couple of weeks after Brady passed away from SIDS I remember I was so in shock and so destroyed that I couldn't cry. I knew that I should be crying but I couldn't. I was so worried about my wife and everyone else around me that I literally wasn't able to handle my own emotions. Everyone tells me how tough I am but they don't see the tears that I cry every day. I cry on my way to and from work, while shopping (most people don't notice) and I cry at home. Most people see the tough Adam and they don't get to see how much this really has impacted me. The core of Adam Brookhart is broken and there isn't anything anyone can do to fix it. The only thing I can do going forward is to make sure everything I do honors my son and makes sure his name and memory lives on.
My previous blog speaks to the support system we have had and how lucky I feel to have everyone in my life supporting us through this. This is very true. I know how I feel today and this is with a lot of support. I know the best way I can help my son's name to live on is to help other grieving parents who have suffered from this terrible loss. This fund raiser will help Brady Robert Brookhart's name live on and will help a great cause. Currently $43.25 per lb I lose will help support parents and families going through this. My goal is to raise $50.00 per lb I lose between 4/16/12 and 10/16/12. If you are able to donate and help this cause please do. To those who have pledged funds thank you because you have no ideal how much this means to me. No parent should have to go through this and when parents do they need all the support they can get. 100% of the funds raised will go to angeleyes.org
Thank you,
Adam Brookhart
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Paying it forward
Until you go through something tragic like losing a child you really don't know how many people truly love and care about you. Immediately after this happened we started receiving overwhelming support from our family, friends, co-workers, even strangers. The next day we were receiving truck loads of food from co-workers at the City of Louisville and DIRECTV, we started receiving checks and donations to help out financially, and family members were stepping up in ways that I didn't know was possible. I can't overstate how lucky and blessed we were and are to have such a strong support system.
I know how hard this loss has been for Robin and I but I can't imagine others going through this without a support system. When parents of infants or toddlers unexpectedly lose a child in Colorado Angel Eyes (angeleyes.org) sends them a packet of information on the grieving process and ways they can help them. Their help includes a monthly meeting for grieving parents and family members (Robin and I attend this), one on one counseling, and education on how parents can reduce their chances of SIDS. They really are a great support system for parents going through this
Because we have so blessed with a lot of support I decided that I am going to raise money for Angel Eyes. How am I going to do this? Starting April 16th I am going to start losing weight. I am receiving pledges for every pound I lose for the next 6 months (wrapping up October 16th). October is SIDS awareness month so the time of the donation will be good. I hope to lose a lot of weight in 6 months and raise a ton of money for Angel Eyes. So far I have $38.25 per lb in pledges and I'm hoping to hit $50.00 per lb by April 16th. Also I am very excited to announce that DIRECTV will be matching the donations so $50.00 per lb is really $100.00 per lb. If you are interested in pledging please let me know by posting on this blog or by emailing me at adambrookhart@gmail.com . Again this will go to a great charity.
This weight loss journey is going to be very public and I will be posting my progress on this blog regularly.
I know how hard this loss has been for Robin and I but I can't imagine others going through this without a support system. When parents of infants or toddlers unexpectedly lose a child in Colorado Angel Eyes (angeleyes.org) sends them a packet of information on the grieving process and ways they can help them. Their help includes a monthly meeting for grieving parents and family members (Robin and I attend this), one on one counseling, and education on how parents can reduce their chances of SIDS. They really are a great support system for parents going through this
Because we have so blessed with a lot of support I decided that I am going to raise money for Angel Eyes. How am I going to do this? Starting April 16th I am going to start losing weight. I am receiving pledges for every pound I lose for the next 6 months (wrapping up October 16th). October is SIDS awareness month so the time of the donation will be good. I hope to lose a lot of weight in 6 months and raise a ton of money for Angel Eyes. So far I have $38.25 per lb in pledges and I'm hoping to hit $50.00 per lb by April 16th. Also I am very excited to announce that DIRECTV will be matching the donations so $50.00 per lb is really $100.00 per lb. If you are interested in pledging please let me know by posting on this blog or by emailing me at adambrookhart@gmail.com . Again this will go to a great charity.
This weight loss journey is going to be very public and I will be posting my progress on this blog regularly.
The day time stopped
On December 15th, 2011 I received a call from Robin that every parent hopes that they will never receive. I could immediately tell by the tone of her voice that something wasn't right. Robin told me that our son Brady was found at daycare not breathing and that he was being rushed to the hospital by Ambulance. Robin was closer to the hospital than our daycare so she beat the ambulance there. After those words left her lips she broke down and couldn't speak anymore. Someone at the hospital took the phone from her and told me that Brady went down for a nap at daycare and 20 minutes later he was found blue and not breathing. She said that Tracy (our daycare provider and friend), paramedics, and police had been working on him for 20+ minutes and he still didn't have a heart beat and wasn't breathing. I'm not a doctor but I know that anyone not breathing for 20-40 minutes has very little chance of survival. At that point I knew the situation was very grim. I told her that I was 60 miles south in Parker and if "anything needed to be announced" to wait until I got there. I knew in my heart that Brady was gone and I didn't want Robin to be alone when they stopped working on him.
I took the tollway to the hospital because knew that there would be little to no traffic. I called 911to give them a heads up on the situation as well was what I was driving. I wanted to be proactive with telling them so if a police vehicle observed me driving at a high rate of speed that would know what was up and would hopefully leave me alone. Just when I explained the situation I had flashing lights in my rear view mirror. I pulled over and the police officer asked me if I knew that I was going 105 miles per hour. I told him that my son was being rushed to the hospital and I didn't think he was going to make it. He told me to be safe and let me go. That was the longest 60 miles of my life.
When I finally made it to the hospital someone was waiting for me in the front entrance. She immediately knew who I was and brought me to an empty room and sat me down. As soon as I sat down the doctor came in with a sad look on her face. She started to tell me that they worked on Brady for over 40 minutes and I stopped her there. I said "so basically you are telling me that Brady is gone". She said yes he was gone and they had an entire team of people that worked on him and there wasn't anything they could do. Unfortunately I didn't make it in time. I told her to take me to the room where my wife and son were. On my way to the room I saw several people who looked broken and devastated. These people were first responders, detectives, and the team of doctors that tried to save Brady. This was the first time I saw the impact this tragedy had on everyone. Everyone had broken hearts and we were all thrown into a terrible situation that we didn't deserve. I was taken to a room where my wife and Brady were located. I remember that I wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come. Everything after that became a fog.
I took the tollway to the hospital because knew that there would be little to no traffic. I called 911to give them a heads up on the situation as well was what I was driving. I wanted to be proactive with telling them so if a police vehicle observed me driving at a high rate of speed that would know what was up and would hopefully leave me alone. Just when I explained the situation I had flashing lights in my rear view mirror. I pulled over and the police officer asked me if I knew that I was going 105 miles per hour. I told him that my son was being rushed to the hospital and I didn't think he was going to make it. He told me to be safe and let me go. That was the longest 60 miles of my life.
When I finally made it to the hospital someone was waiting for me in the front entrance. She immediately knew who I was and brought me to an empty room and sat me down. As soon as I sat down the doctor came in with a sad look on her face. She started to tell me that they worked on Brady for over 40 minutes and I stopped her there. I said "so basically you are telling me that Brady is gone". She said yes he was gone and they had an entire team of people that worked on him and there wasn't anything they could do. Unfortunately I didn't make it in time. I told her to take me to the room where my wife and son were. On my way to the room I saw several people who looked broken and devastated. These people were first responders, detectives, and the team of doctors that tried to save Brady. This was the first time I saw the impact this tragedy had on everyone. Everyone had broken hearts and we were all thrown into a terrible situation that we didn't deserve. I was taken to a room where my wife and Brady were located. I remember that I wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come. Everything after that became a fog.
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