Tears in heaven

As I type this blog I am listening to Eric Clapton's Tears In Heaven. In 1991 Eric Clapton lost his son when he fell from window of a 53rd story building. Eric was crushed and he wrote a beautiful song to remember his son. I equate Sudden Infant Death Syndrome to the type of loss Eric suffered. Eric's son was there one day then the next he was gone. This is the same thing that happened to Brady. Brady was such a healthy vibrant boy and nobody including his pediatrician could have seen this coming.

I remember the night before Brady passed away was like any other night. Just like every other night I gave Brady his last bottle then I took him up to his room and rocked him to sleep. Every night I would lay Brady in his crib I always gave him a kiss goodnight and told him "goodnight Brady daddy loves you." This was personal time that Brady and shared every night and now I know how priceless this time was. The last night Brady was on this earth he woke up later in the night and Robin gave him a bottle. She put him down but he was a bit restless. When he wouldn't fall asleep I went into his room, held him in my arms, and he fell asleep. This would be the last time I would hold my beautiful baby boy. I am so grateful I had this extra time with him.

The first couple of weeks after Brady passed away from SIDS I remember I was so in shock and so destroyed that I couldn't cry. I knew that I should be crying but I couldn't. I was so worried about my wife and everyone else around me that I literally wasn't able to handle my own emotions. Everyone tells me how tough I am but they don't see the tears that I cry every day. I cry on my way to and from work, while shopping (most people don't notice) and I cry at home. Most people see the tough Adam and they don't get to see how much this really has impacted me. The core of Adam Brookhart is broken and there isn't anything anyone can do to fix it. The only thing I can do going forward is to make sure everything I do honors my son and makes sure his name and memory lives on.

My previous blog speaks to the support system we have had and how lucky I feel to have everyone in my life supporting us through this. This is very true. I know how I feel today and this is with a lot of support. I know the best way I can help my son's name to live on is to help other grieving parents who have suffered from this terrible loss. This fund raiser will help Brady Robert Brookhart's name live on and will help a great cause. Currently $43.25 per lb I lose will help support parents and families going through this. My goal is to raise $50.00 per lb I lose between 4/16/12 and 10/16/12. If you are able to donate and help this cause please do. To those who have pledged funds thank you because you have no ideal how much this means to me. No parent should have to go through this and when parents do they need all the support they can get. 100% of the funds raised will go to angeleyes.org

Thank you,

Adam Brookhart